In 1979 I obtained a license to run a family childcare in my home in Oakland, California. The children I cared for ranged in age from three months to four years old. It was important to me to have a close connection with the children I cared for, so I kept the childcare small, hosting six children or fewer each day. (That may sound like quite a brood, but I am one of six children in my family!)
The childcare families soon became extended family. Some of the families stayed with my childcare for a number of years because they brought me their second and third children. To keep the homey feeling, I never gave my childcare business a cutesy name. The children were not being left at childcare; they were going to Dawn’s house to play with their friends.
I knew that even though my childcare was play based, there were some important life skills the children needed to learn in their first social group experience away from their families. Learning life skills in my childcare was especially important for some of the children because they were actually with me for more waking hours than they were with their parents. Not only was I responsible for the children’s physical welfare, I was also entrusted with their discipline and social development. I knew my discipline choices would have a profound effect on their future and felt honored that families entrusted me with their children. I was determined to give them all I could.
The more I learned about caring for a group of children, the more I knew I had to find a more effective and constructive way of teaching them than the common practices then in use. Punishment and value judgments discourage children—and loss of courage is loss of dignity and self-respect. Using these negative behaviors was not an option, but replacing these behaviors was easier said than done. Old social habits are deeply ingrained in our society.
Each time I learned a reasonable and respectful discipline idea, I changed the way I responded to the children. As I changed my behavior, the children’s behavior also changed. By observing their responses to the changes I made, I learned what worked, what didn’t, and why.
The social guidelines I taught in my childcare nurtured individuality and self-reliance and modeled caring, sharing, and mutual respect. These values, combined with social graces, enabled the children to develop what is popularly known as “emotional intelligence.” Link to my article
The parents of the children under my care told me they watched what I did and started using my discipline methods at home. They were thrilled with the changes in their children’s cooperation levels and encouraged me to teach them what I had taught their children. Despite their delight, it was a huge challenge for me to step out of my comfort zone and learn how to teach parents. Their ongoing positive feedback and requests for help motivated me to teach.
As it became necessary, I taught myself other skills—how to be a writer, a public speaker, a consultant, a publisher, a promoter, and a marketer. With all of the responsibilities that came with learning and teaching, it was no longer possible for me to continue offering childcare; after seventeen years in business I closed my facility.
For the past fourteen years I have been a nanny, infant specialist, workshop presenter, national speaker, parenting consultant, and author. All told, I have more than thirty years’ experience in caring for children and helping families.
